i win... i think!

Dear beautiful strangers,


this morning, my friend J*ss sent me an MMS,
with a tagline..'recognize this??!'-->referring to the photo up there!


that photo made me smile straight away,
what a way to start my day,
with a photo of Dr C*rlo C*****, hehe...


Jass has been saying how beautiful/broad/sexy Carlo's back is.
i never understood that, until i received the photo above this am.


I replied to Jass:
"dont you ever dare stalking my boy from behind, woman! :P"
she then said:
"best woman wins!"
and well.. after that i went to facebook, and i saw a reminder
"Azzurri.. you were poked by Carlo C*****"


...hiks! i guess i have won then.... :)

bodoh kan i?

Dear beautiful strangers,

Hi sayang-sayangku semua!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so glad, i am actually back and manage to post something up
now i have the time.. the freaking blaaarrrrrdddddyyyyyyy time i was depriving of,
because it's all over...

ape yang dah over??

yup i wanna make a list:

1. my horrible Surgery rotation is over.
2. my not-so-horrible Anaesthetic rotation is over
3. my good Critical Care rotation is over
4. and my frickin-tasty Accident & Emergency Rotation is over
5. my night shifts in the hospitals are over
6. my commuting to Stirling is over
7. my late evenings and late nights revision sessions are over
....and most importantly...
8. my exam is overrrrr..........................................! it happened this morning. and i am so glad.

i hope the list has already explained my silence for the past week. sorry sgt2.

(in fact i was actually busy in the Emergency Room with Robert and busy revising in the hospital library with Carlo... hiks! ;) )

hmm.. mlm nih i deserve a real celebration. i have actually slept and eaten in the library for the past weeks okay.

no healthy food
no make ups
no facial cleansing before sleep
no manicure, pedicure-ing..
no hot guys -even tho robert and carlo were around, tapi bukan boleh buat apa2 pun.. i buruk sekarang :(
no long hot bath
no long candles and aromatherapeutic moment
rindu.. i miss my life! i am gonna get those back! whatever it takes.

anyway, sayang2 ku semua..
when i'm typing this, i am still in the hospital library
supposedly, i shud have a lecture right now on Pharmacology
tapi, baru jer i masuk the common room, i saw my Ex,
ahhhh.. benci! benci! i hate the owner of that body!
i hate him. so after buying a cookie, i decided to leave,
but i was stopped by the guy who was talking to my ex at that time.
so basically, my-ex was standing right in front of me-looking at me up down and up and down again.. hiks.

and that guy-mike (the guy who's talking to my ex) was asking how the exam went..
probably a reflex reaction, i straight away said ......

'it was easy! really. and anyway mike, see you at laura's party tonight. i might be slightly late coz i HAVE A DATE AT TIGERLILY before that!'

...sedangkan i am just going to have dinner with my girlfriends there...hehe!

bodoh kan i?
hiks!

(and also, i decided not to go to the lecture sebab MALAS and BENCI)

i dont wanna lose

Dear beautiful strangers,

hi sayang2 ku semua.. ape khabar kamu?!
how's weekend sayangs? (is 'sayangs' the plural version of 'sayang' in Malay?)
i want to apologize for not yet continuing my party story. i have exam next Friday, so now working hard and the fact that i am now attached to Emergency Room, it makes everything more hectic than usual, but i promise bile ader mase, i will defo continue ok, sayangs?

anyway, i was so upset on Saturday. yes it's because of Robert. tapi kan, i dun even know why i was upset, i dont think i like this guy in that way... really dont think so. but, that morning, around 11am, i was walking around the town looking for suitable cafe for me to study (i love to study in a cafe by the way)... on the way looking around for a cool cafe with my books (i looked so nerdy with my specs and all, didnt really dress up), i ran into Diana! she said hi, and stopped me.she went on and on and on about the fact tht she just finished doing her eye-brows in one shop, and they were sore, but they looked so pretty (ohh please..) and she was like, 'azzurri, are you okay? you look terrible..'

i felt like a slap in my face when she said that. buruk sangat ke i that time?! shit! or she just wanted to make me feel bad like she always did.. i dont know.

i then buggered off..

i then shockingly met Robert, walking with his cousin. to my suprise, when he saw me, he smiled and jumped on me and hugged me for quite long. he looked so delighted seeing me. i was worried if i looked really terrible and geeky that day, so i didnt really lengthen the conversation. malu kalau i memang buruk!

i then buggered off..

that night, i got a msg from him, asking me how my weekend had been. he then texted back saying this..

"...i spent all day with my cousin but i managed a couple of hours with Diana too...."

i sedih! i was jealous! i geram dgn perempuan tuh, tak tau kenapa?!
i then replied..

"..couple of hours with Diana? interesting! so when is your couple of hours with Azzurri?.."

and he didnt reply...!
i felt REALLY shite after that! did i actually sound inappropriate? coz i like to just act it cool but i was sad too. Diana managed to do that again, making me feel bad---- Diana did tell me her bad intention towards getting Robert, then dump him like she did to other guys and the fact that he could win this guy and not me----she said all these when she was drunk at my party (will tell u guys the detail in my next post abt the party)

i think i feel stupid for playing along with this
i think i feel stupid for being sad knowing they spent couple of hours together
i think i feel stupid for being equally competitive against Diana
should i just back off?
... but if i do, would she think that i've given up and lost?.. i taknak kalah jugak..
... tp memang mungkin i lebih buruk dr diana, and she's prettier than me kan?..entahla..
tp again,...i taknak kalah jugak.....

'Only love' part 2!

...read the line above..

that's the note

that's his handwriting

the handwriting below is mine

..sweet..

ohh Robert, i wish i could like you....

"only love?"

Dear beautiful strangers,

I met Robert in the hosp computer lab, n i told him i couldnt be in the ICU tonight, as i needed to study. so i told him not to judge me at all. then i went to the toilet. when i came back, he's gone, but i saw a tiny lil note on my computer, saying................



"No judgement.Only love."



is that a big deal? i dont think it is. ach Azzurri, get away...

party! (part 1)

Dear beautiful strangers,

banyak yg tahu about my flat-warming party last friday kan?
hmm... yes, it went well. and the theme was just-------- 'looking really goooooood'! hehe!

that friday went pretty well for me actually.....

around 12noon, i went to Zen Hairstylist to do my hair,
i then decided to do my own nails, and not at any manicurists. kenapa?
becoz i was just thinking, that would be the best time to be creative kan?!
so after buat rambut (is that how u say it in Malay?), i went back and did my nails pulak..

*kalau i rajin, i upload my nails photos okay?!.. hiks!

so for girls, sesiapa yg nak buat manicure, and taknak bayar byk2 at manicurists, and if ur in the UK of coz (hiks), i am more than happy to help...for free, coz i just bought a whole new filing set, complete with one dozen nail colors.. yes 12 colours. hehe.

i coloured my nails silver, as backgrounds. then i put layers of gold, crossing diagonally,
so in the end, they were half silver and half gold. and after that i sprinkled goldusts on the silver area..and tadaaaaaaa.......

...... they just looked awesome and classy!!!!!! hehe. i didnt say it. people said it. hiks!

as usual, before the party started, i just did a normal preparation, cleaning and tidying up the flat!
i know people will be using the entire apartment including all the 3 rooms. so i had to clean everything and everywhere in the apartment. i did my shopping in between. dont ask how much i hv spent for everything..! i dont want to feel guilty :p

i took out my speakers to the lounge, to play my music playlist, continuously, during the party for anyone fancies dancing..
i did all my shopping, fingerfoods, nachos, dips, candies, spirits, siders and 2 bottles of good rosey.
i planned to make my own cocktails for the guests..

i then went into my wardrobe, and chose a grassy green dress, with silver belt, surrounding my waist very tightly (you just want to show ur curves, dont you girls? ;))
and the dress is thigh-length, kinda short i know. but it's a flat party, so i presumed it would be ok. i chose the best bras (light green) with the best bra-strap (embroided!), coz girls, u know, u just need to show that off.. hiks!
i put on my finest accessories, golden earrings and bracelets. no necklace, as i dont want people to be distracted by anything else on my chest, other than my.... hiks!
i chose my silver pair of shoes...
so basically my theme colours tht night were grassy green, silver and gold... including my nails mind you!

while getting ready, i just called dominos pizza, as i havent eaten anything else the entire day,
and i didnt want to eat so much either, didnt want to feel bloated and stuffed! so while waiting for the pizza, i prepared the cocktails..

i had planned to actually make 2 types of cocktails that night: 'Del Boy' and 'Sex On The Beach!' they are sweet and easy to make! and the colour is presentable!

The pizza boy arrived. passed me the pizza, collected the money,........ smiled and winked!!!!! yes he winked! kinda cute.. but too young. hehe.----i was like 'hmmm this is a good start' (*in my heart, of course).. that really raised my confidence and yup! my mood... party mood...

..... all my close girlfriends arrived the earliest generally, before the boys. emma, alison, sarah and jane...to be honest, i really couldnt wait for these boys to arrive, i had been very selective in inviting the guests.. i'm sorry, but for a good party, you need to filter your people. as i have said before, whatever you wanna do, do it pretty-ly. including your guests..just choose the pretty ones! hiks! so you can presume the criteria of my guests (esp boys) that night....

we, girls were all gossiping while waiting for these heroes to come...
.......Del, Hawk, Carlo (the most awaited boy by azzurri.hiks. i am having a really really huge crush on this italiano + scottish bloke, just plain handsome.yes he is.), Robert (my hosp partner, remember?), Mike (my gym personal trainer), Ben (jesus-look-alike), Matt (a new hot boy in town), 'hot' Raj (my old crush.. just beautiful-but-boring -3Bs), Blacky...the list could go on and on and on...

.. i was having palpitation while waiting. nervous.just plain nervous. but also, couldnt wait any longer. just wanted to have fun after a while...


*to be continued....

a confession nak kurus!

Dear beautiful strangers,

i am now having a lunch break in the hosp.
i was in the operation theatre the entire a.m.
will be there the entire p.m. too later
hope things will get more and more interesting

anyway, it's so not appropriate for me to write about my party right now
as the mood to actually explain it isnt there yet!
i am in the hosp for heaven's sake, what do you actually expect? hiks! :)

however, i need to answer a few emails i got from some beautiful strangers
people asked me the significance of the photo at the top right of this page
the photo of half of a woman's face, and two legs
i have been thinking thouroughly
and i decided to confess
that's actually my photos,
they were parts of my portfolio when i was involved in part-time modelling a year ago
that was why i commuted back and forth between milan-london-edinburgh (read previous post)
that was why i just put half of my face and just the legs:
i dont want anyone who knows me to recognize me instantly
but i just realized, who actually would give a damn about it?
and what's the worst that could happen anyway?! hehe..

just so you know, that was then, when i was 47-49kilos,
i now weigh 54 kilos, and i stopped modelling temporarily,to concentrate on my medical career
i dont know if i should continue tho (dah gemuk! hiks!)
Liverpool winter fashion show and Edinburgh Charity Fashion Show are coming up
i am tempted to join, but i am fatter now.
so if i could lose 7-8kilos in the next 2 months, then i might do

tengok lah macam mana... i asyik nak makan jer sekarang
in fact semalam i buat haddock pie! and i ate at 10pm for crying out loud!
so bayangkanlah macam mane nak kurus?! you tell me!